I was pondering a very important question the other day whilst driving.
How do I know when I’m truly into a girl?
Up until about 2 weeks ago, I would have given you something along the lines of:
"Well, I’d want to take her out to nice places, hang out with her, buy her things…blah blah."
And although there would have been ‘a fair bit’ of heart in that response, it wouldn’t have been my whole heart. Because I think I’d actually forgotten what it’s like to really like someone… and my response above would have been ‘standard’, when standard isn’t really me at all. I’d hate to ever think that I’d give a ‘standard’ response about love, god forbid it, because that would go against everything I believe in! I’m a romantic, what can I say. :)
But I will admit, I had forgotten what it was like to be truly into someone, or to even meet someone and whole heartedly say ‘Yes! I’m keen to see where we could go/where this could go…I’m in!’. It just hasn’t happened in a long time for me, a long time meaning maybe 3 years or so. I guess you could say in regards to my love life I’d become a bit of a Zombie, minus the mindless eating of brains OF COURSE!
But…in the last two weeks, I actually woke up. I met a girl, who is so different to anyone I’ve ever met, that for the first time in years I actually felt ‘something’. I actually felt a lot. And we’ve only been on two dates, and it may or may not go anywhere, but man it is so freaking good to feel something! And I should thank her for that.
So, to answer my own question: How do I know when I’m truly into someone? Let me tell you about that, because I remember now. :)
I WANT TO CREATE THINGS! I feel inspired again, I want to write stories and build amazing things (even though my limitations would be LEGO and popsicle sticks lol), and let the real me out to play.
It’s almost like my heart has just been jump started! I want to take her to my favourite places, and learn all about hers, and I would do all of it with child-like wonder. And most of all, I just want to talk with her, about everything under the sun… Normally on dates I get totally nervous, but with her I was just excited to see her. And it was a nice feeling. :)
Will it go anywhere? I have no idea lol. And if she does read this, it’s either going to elicit one of three responses: (And instantly I have one of my ‘Shit Court, you sure you’ve thought this through?’ moments.) To which I reference an Advertising book I read recently that said something along the lines of ‘If you’re not mildly shitting yourself about an idea, then scrap it and start again because it’s mediocre.’ I WILL NEVER BE MEDIOCRE. :D
So, back to it, this blog may elicit one of three responses from her:
1. A ‘Wow’ response :) Or something along those lines, and fingers crossed she appreciates the openness and doesn’t freak out lol. (Don’t freak out!)
2. I scare the bejeebus out of her with my honesty, and I don’t ever see her again! Which would be a shame lol.
3. I have no idea what her response will be because we only met a few weeks ago. Just hanging out here on a limb :)
But, I’m willing to take that risk…purely on the fact that I made a commitment to myself 52 days ago that I would do things differently. 52 days ago I decided to stop drinking for 3 months and experience life completely sober…Including the dating world.
So, whether we end up as ‘something dot dot dot’ or amazing friends, she has actually given me a tremendous gift. She reminded me that the real me, the completely romantic and adventurous me is actually in there… it just takes someone truly amazing to bring me out.
And she is pretty damn amazing, and if I did have a shot at seeing where this could go, I’M IN. ;)