My name is Courtney Beck, and I have the intention to create more nookie in my relationship. My fiancé Jules is along for the ride (pardon the pun, or not). This is our story.
Carving out time in your day for nookie is tough, and sometimes you need a little help from your friends, namely a sex therapist and a pleasure brand to help you get your life in the sack back on track.
Enter Jacqueline Hellyer, Australia’s foremost expert on sex and relationships, and Durex.
The program? 30 Nights Of Nookie.
The guinea pigs: A number of awesome Aussies couples, and Jules and I.
The aim: To increase the intimacy in relationships.
Jules and I have been together for close to 3 years, we’re engaged and we have a human child and a fur child.
I’m going to be honest. We signed up to this program because we both struggle massively with time. In between juggling a 9 year old (Little Miss) and a dog (a.k.a ‘the 40 year old virgin’ who’s favourite pastime is shagging his Dalmatian print cushion), throw in both of our jobs and there’s pretty much only time left for sleeping. And if I can be really honest, I’d like more of that too.
We are willingly taking part in this program because we understand that to have a happy home, we need take time out for us. We have loads of fun together and we have a beautifully intimate relationship, but sometimes completely unsexy things like bin night, cooking, washing up, phone calls, Facebook and the fur child’s rancid farting get in the way.
There’s nothing quite like bin night and farting to get you in the mood for love.
It was a very unsexy night like this when we started the 30 Nights Of Nookie program. It began with the best of intentions, us basically doing household chores at the speed of light; it was a bit like a domestic version of Indiana Jones And The Temple Of Doom. We ran a lot and instead of a giant stone ball chasing us through a tunnel it was our responsibilities.
Despite the overwhelming amount of tasks ahead and a looming deadline of 9:30pm (including packing for a work trip to Melbourne), as Phil Collins would say ‘Against all odds’, we were going to make time for our first night of Nookie.
What I hadn’t anticipated was after managing to get both our children off to bed, was that earlier in the day Jules had purchased a strange looking world time torch alarm clock (it was the Swiss Army Knife of alarm clocks), which she was determined to set up that night.
How she managed to set the time to the year 2098, I’m not entirely sure, but it was at this moment I realised that the nookie might be more elusive than I’d originally thought. When she needed to literally wind back time to 2014, I also had not anticipated the 84 high pitch beeps that would wake both our children from their meditative slumber. The 40-year-old fur virgin then excitedly busted out of the bedroom and began to run around the house and our 9 year old was loudly questioning if the microwave had exploded.
This is me.
Rule 1 of attempting ‘you time’: No-one needs the Swiss Army version of an alarm clock; I don’t care who you are. Love you Jules!
It wasn’t over though. You see once we get into the bedroom, we need a way to keep the dog in and the child out. It’s a high tech device we call ‘Door Mouse’. Essentially, it’s a black doorstop that looks like a mouse. Door mouse ensures that we are able to have sexy time without worrying that we might scar our child forever if she walks in.
What does one do though when it’s the first night of the 30 Nights Of Nookie program and Door Mouse has gone missing? You jam a thick wad of paper under the door. Thank you Jules, very resourceful.
And then just when you think it’s over, and all is well with the world, there is the sound of small feet descending from The Tower (the bunk bed).
Nothing kills passion like the sound of small feet.
After the fear had passed, we unfroze ourselves and started to breathe again, the night was ours, and damn it was worth it.
Ladies and gents, we NEED these 30 nights, for our own sanity. Don’t even get me started on the health benefits of regular orgasms. We deserve this and so does our relationship.
Whether you have babies, older children, fur children or no children, we all have obstacles in our way stopping us from spending quality time with our partners. Use the 30 Nights Of Nookie as an excuse and a platform to make a change in your relationship that can last beyond this month.
Some nights it will be a comedy of errors to no end, but it doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t continue to chase this time like Indiana would chase a precious antiquity.
*This post has been sponsored by Durex, and I wholeheartedly endorse this program in every single way.