I'm Courtney Beck. I'm gay, but no-one ever picks it...which makes it hard to meet girls. So, in May 2011, I decided to start a blog and advertise myself as a potential date. Four months in, I met a drop-dead gorgeous Italian, and the rest is history. Now I just write about dating. If you'd like to say hi, shoot an email to: reasonstodatecourtneybeck@hotmail.com

Hickeys Happen

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Today I was forced to Google something I’ve never had to before. 

"How to get rid of a hickey". 

Unfortunately I accidentally left a reminder of this morning’s passion on Jules’s neck, right before a family event. Yep, nice one Court. That’s one way to make an impression on people you’ve only met once before. 

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Firstly, I must assure you that this was not your stock standard hickey, circular in shape, high school style. This was a small smattering of tiny red dots. What can I say?! I’m a classy lady that was overcome by passion. 

For your reference in case you’ve blurred this from your mind, this is a high school hickey:

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This is what it looks like when a giant gives you hickeys:

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What I gave Jules was a a bit like Kanye’s hickey on Kim K, even less than that. 

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You see, even at 32, hickeys still happen. It’s just that we as adults have stopped talking about it. Today, I am here to remind you that any type of passionate neck kissing can cause a hickey, it’s just that because we’re older and wiser we’ve become better at two things:

1. We don’t suck like vacuum cleaners anymore. While I’m on this, this analogy reminds me of a girl I went to primary school with who wanted a hickey so badly that she utilised the sucking end of the vacuum cleaner to give her a perfectly sphered love bite. Some people strive for perfection in everything they do. 

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2. We’ve become better at covering them up. Stage make-up, scarves, whatever it takes. 

Alternatively, if you’re going to an event and feeling a little sleepy, an Animal Neck Pillow would serve you well. If you want to feel vaguely sexy, you could probably go with a cheetah or something. You know, a sexy animal. 

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So you’re probably interested as to what my Google results revealed. There seems to be 2 main methods of getting rid of a hickey:

The Cold Method 

  • Wrap ice in a paper towel and place it on your hickey. Press firmly and slowly move the ice around the surface of the hickey and the areas just around it. Try to leave the ice on for twenty minutes and then remove it for twenty minutes. Repeat as much as possible for the first day.

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The Hot Method

Use this method to get rid of a hickey that has stuck around for at least 48 hours. Once, the burst blood vessels have healed, what is left is the blood that has collected under your skin. That blood will slowly disperse and be reabsorbed into your body. Heating up the area of the hickey will increase blood flow to the region, quickening the reabsorption of blood and helping to remove the hickey.

  • Place a hot water bottle or warm compress on the area of the hickey for 10-20 minutes.
  • If you don’t have a hot water bottle or warm compress, you can heat water, soak a towel in the hot water, and use that instead – just make sure it’s not too hot!
  • Warning! Do not use the hot method within 48 hours of receiving the hickey. The burst capillaries may not have healed completely, and increasing blood flow to the area could make your hickey bigger!

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Which one did I choose to try and repair the damage? I ran into the bathroom and gave Jules an ice pack wrapped in tissues. She has since resorted to stage-makeup, which she thinks makes her look like she hasn’t washed in a week. Which is the lesser evil though? A dirty neck I think. 

What’s the moral of this story? 

Sometimes, no matter how hard you try, hickeys happen. It does not make you any less classy… Well, I’m definitely classier than this lady. 

Wish me luck at the family dinner. 

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On the 1st of February, 2014, I proposed to my girlfriend Jules, on a rooftop with musician Jordan Millar and 30 of our good friends to back me up. Jules is the girl I met and fell in love with 2 years ago via my blog, Reasons to date Courtney Beck. This is my proposal. 

If you’d like the full story, click here

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She said yes! A story that began in 2011…

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In the shower this morning, I was thinking about how to tell the story of the last 3 years of my life, and how I got to here. And then it came to me in the voices of George Michael and Aretha Franklin, and the words ‘I knew you were waiting for me’. 

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My whole life, I always knew that I’d meet ‘the one’. That one person who was meant just for me. Call it being born to romantic parents, or perhaps I ended up with just really loving genes, but I knew in my heart that I was destined to find a great romance. What I didn’t expect was to get to my 29th birthday, and not have found them yet. Most of my friends were getting engaged, married, having babies, and I was still looking. 

My other problem was that unfortunately no-one could tell I was a lesbian, which makes it pretty hard to meet a girl. Especially when you’re into other feminine looking women. There’s nothing quite like making eyes at a girl in a bar only to find out that she’s actually straight. 

It was a problem, but one I was confident I could solve. Being from a marketing and advertising background, surely there was a way I could use my persuasive selling powers for the good of my own love life? 

It was in May 2011, after drinks and dinner with some ad land friends that we came up with the idea of advertising myself via a blog.

It was to be called ‘Reasons to date Courtney Beck’, and would revolve around me listing a different reason every day why a girl might want to consider dating me. If girls, or should I say women, were interested they could submit a photo of themselves and the reason we’d hit it off on a date. 

Within weeks my crazy idea had been picked up by the media. Why you ask? Well, I honestly think that we’re all looking for love. And who doesn’t love an underdog?!  

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Due to the blog’s media exposure I went from effectively not dating anybody to receiving about 15 date requests a week. It was like the dating heavens had opened up on me! I even had a couple of marriage proposals, the most memorable one from someone wearing a ski mask. 

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One thing I did commit to at the start of the blog was to document all of my dates and to be very honest about the journey. This included being rejected, a few times. Let me tell you, there’s nothing quite like public rejection. If I may give you a metaphor, it’s a bit like standing in front of the whole Colosseum and asking somebody to love you, and them saying no.

I remained positive. 

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About 4 months in to writing my blog, I received an email from a woman in Sydney. It was beautifully written, funny and articulate. There was no photo, but I knew just from her words that I needed to reply instantly. She did express that she had no interest in dating me as she’d recently come out of a relationship, but wanted to congratulate me on my ballsy efforts and if I was ever in Sydney she’d love to catch up. 

The first time we met, I’d come to Sydney for the weekend to spend time with the girl that I was chasing. I had a couple of spare hours on the Saturday morning, so she suggested we check out the Lego exhibition on at the Sydney Aquarium (I’m very in touch with my inner child). Little did I know those 2 hours spent at the Aquarium would form a spark that I could not let go of.

I went home contemplating a bigger question: ‘If I was going to marry any of the girls I’d met so far, who would it be?’.

The Italian, as I fondly referred to her as in my blog, was everything I wanted and more. She had every quality I was looking for. She was beautiful inside and out. Funny, nerdy, liked talking in strange accents and so many other things that I grew to fall in love with. I loved her heart and her mind. 

After more than 2 amazing years together, on the 1st of February I asked my beautiful Italian to marry me. I’ve never been more sure of anyone or anything in my entire life, she was the one that I had been searching for. 

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The proposal was to be at her 30th birthday.

As a member of the advertising world, this wasn’t just going to be any proposal. It was going to be epic, and required a team of awesomeness to pull this proposal off. The proposal, would affectionately become known as ‘Project Sparkle’. 

Project Sparkle consisted of 30 of The Italian’s closest friends, a rooftop overlooking Sydney city and Jordan Millar (a ridiculously talented Sydney musician). 

To cut a long story short, Jordan played an amazing live set and finished up with a version of our song, ‘You to me are everything' by The Real Thing.

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I got up to do my speech, which went a little something like this:

Jules - Happy birthday my love! Over 2 years ago, I asked you to be my girlfriend via text. It wasn’t the greatest move I ever made, and you told me if I ever asked you to marry me via text we’d have a big problem. So I’m not going to do that, but I am going to do this…” I got down on knee and produced a ring and asked ‘Will you marry me?’. 

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She said yes, and you can watch the video here:

Out of the many incredible moments in my life thus far, that moment will go down as one of the greatest. 

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For me, this has been a story of dreams coming true, and ballsy ideas that pay off. 

I do so strongly believe that there is someone on this planet for everyone, it’s just that sometimes to find them you’ve got to go on an epic journey, be proposed to by women in ski masks, get your heart publicly trodden on, fear that you’ll end up a cat lady… and just when you’re about to give up, there he or she will be. Waiting for you, just like the song. 

If you loved Jordan’s voice, you can check out his music here

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I’d also like to thank the Project Sparkle team, to which the proposal would have probably been a bit shonky or happened via text if they weren’t there…

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Until next time friends… 

Hook Up Apps: Friend or Foe?

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Recently I was interviewed by a journalist from The Daily Beast on the status of hook up apps. 

The article was called ‘Hook Up Apps Have Gone Too Far’.

I don’t agree. 

Today I’m going to make a stand up for hook up apps, seeing as they can’t stand up for themselves. 

This rant is about freedom. Our freedom to decide. 

We live on a beautiful planet that has over 7 billion people living on it. We are all looking for love. 

There was a time when meeting and marrying someone from your hometown was how love and marriage was done. There was a time beyond that when we understood that if there was not someone in your hometown you could fall in love with, that you may need to look to your closest city. 

Then came the internet. A piece of technology that allowed the world to be on our doorstep, and a new relationship door was opened. 

We went from local to global potential. For the first time we wondered if the person we were destined to spend our life with did not live within a 50km radius, but on a different continent altogether?

No longer were we confined to accepting an ok relationship with someone in our locality, we could date whoever or wherever the hell we wanted. 

Admittedly, it wasn’t all roses for online dating. There was a time when it was bathed in taboo. People didn’t speak about the fact they had met someone ‘online’. A lot of it was unknown, mistrusted, and let’s be honest, it had a lot of bad press.

My first lesbian relationship was actually with a girl who lived interstate. At the time I was horrified to admit that I’d met her in a chat forum when I was investigating my own sexuality. That was 2002, and previously I’d dated footy players. The internet allowed me to meet the person that would encourage me to come out and be who I really was. 

The internet changed my life. 

Fast forward to now and just about everyone has dabbled in online dating. ‘I met him/her online' is a common phrase. Some of us spend more time on the internet than we do with our partners and friends.

We’re also working harder than ever, we want more than ever, and we want it on a silver platter. It is what it is.

What hasn’t changed is that we all need love, intimacy, sex, and surely we’re all old enough and ugly enough to talk about it.

The internet, hook up apps and dating sites have become the sexual glue that are the means to making our sexual destinies happen in this busy world. 

But first, let it be known and shouted from the rooftops that we’re all into different things.

Some people want a monogamous relationship, some people don’t. Some want affairs, some don’t. Some people want to go to dungeons and be whacked with a paddle board, some people just want to be hugged. You know what? It’s ok. We’re all different. 

What the internet and hook up apps have given us is a higher chance of finding people with the same tastes and thoughts about love and sex that we have. What we have never had before is a platform that confronts us with so many potentially taboo topics on a daily basis, and that makes some of us uncomfortable. 

For this, I have a quick and easy solution: If you don’t like it…

Some folks enjoy threesomes and are probably thanking their lucky stars that ‘3nder' was invented.

Some people could benefit from an app like ‘Lick This' to help facilitate them giving better oral sex to their partner. 

For years people have joked about joining the ‘Mile High Club’, there’s an app for that now. It’s called ‘Wingman’.

The internet and its millions of apps are making it possible for all of our wildest fantasies to come true, and to tell you the truth, thank god! How long do we want to keep our sexual selves hidden?

Why do we look down upon the person who just wants to hook up and not jump into a long term relationship? Why do we insist on forcing our own ideals on other people?

Our lives would be far happier if we were hooking up/dating/marrying people that actually made us happy, versus selecting a partner and a lifestyle that makes society happy.

Divorce rates would be lower if we were all more realistic about what we want and what we deserve. 

I’m not saying that hook up apps are going to solve the world’s divorce or happiness problems, I’m saying we’ve got room to improve and that starts with getting more in touch with what WE want and being comfortable with taking the reigns on how that happens. 

By all means catch the eye of that spunk at the local pub, but don’t be afraid to ponder that the one who could make you truly happy may not be who or where you expect.  

The Daily Beast article described me as a ‘Sex App Enthusiast’. I don’t think I’m that. I’m just a realist that happily embraced technology in order to find love and happiness.

In the search for the one or one’s that we want to spend our lives with, why leave it to chance? Get out there and use today’s technology to go forth and conquer your sexual destiny. It is your right. 

Lick This - An app with a difference!

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Oh hello. Today I’d like to talk to you about an app that could make a massive difference to the happiness of women all around the world. 

It’s called Lick This, and it’s an app designed by a couple of amazing advertising types who refer to themselves as Club Sexy Time. Their real names are Chris Allick, Pablo Rochat and Justin Ralph. 

Boys - I’d like to take this opportunity to thank you on behalf of all women who have ever received a lacklustre licking. 

What does Lick This do?

Well, essentially it’s a tool that helps lady lovin’ men and women around the world to do a better job when french kissing their favourite lady in the downstairs department. 

Why is an app like this important? 

Shit. It’s not a Blue Light Disco people, and you’re not 14 anymore! Going in and just jabbing around won’t cut it. Oral is an art form, and you should be an avid student your whole life. Thinking you know it all already is just arrogant. 

A QUESTION: 

Would the karate kid have stopped learning from Mr Miyagi because he felt he knew it all?! NO. He would have been an avid student his whole life. Same goes for you. 

How does this app of amazingness work?

Well, I haven’t used it yet, but essentially you pick a game you want to play with your tongue, and then you bust out that underused pink piece of flesh of yours to lick your screen and rock a top score. The exercises range from licking a light switch on and off to sharpening a pencil using an old school grinder, to what looks like keeping a beach ball off the ground. Who doesn’t love a game involving a beach ball?! 

Right now, you’re probably thinking…. "Oh, those games are simple and below me."

NO THEY’RE NOT. 

Do you think unleashing a karate chop is simple? It’s not. It is a simple gesture that when practiced daily is actually a weapon! Remember this when you’ve licked the light switch on and off 9 times. 

Would Mr Miyagi quit flicking the switch? No, he wouldn’t. He’d be the best god damn light switch flicker in the land! 

All I can say is, thanks gents! I’m looking forward to version 2.0 where Club Sexy Time takes it from beginners to advanced. I’m talking sky writing with a plane or playing pinball, if you know what I mean?! 

For those about to lick, Club Sexy Time advises you wrap your phone before you begin. Hygiene counts, and water damage is still water damage.

I want to leave you with a thought…

If a roll of Cling Wrap is $1.60 at the supermarket, that’s a small investment in what could be a lifetime of happiness for your lady friend, not to mention a reputation you’d be proud to have! 

You know what to do. LICK THIS

Roxxy the sexbot

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One of my favourite creative publications is Lost at E Minor. Today an article from 2010 caught my eye while I was cruising the site: 

Roxxy the Sexbot. 

At the time, Roxxy was perhaps the most evolved Sex Robot on the market. According to the article, her skin feels like real skin, she is warm to the touch, bends in all sorts of ways and can also talk back to you.

I can’t imagine the conversations Roxy would have with you would change your life, but you take what you can get right? Some conversation is better than no conversation at all. 

This is Roxxy’s creator, Douglas Hines. Looking at this photo of Douglas with Roxxy, I imagine telling her a story in which you require her to look shocked would probably be quite satisfying… as she always does look shocked. 

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For instance, imagine if you said… “LOOK ROXXY, THERE’S A DRAGON!”

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Perfect reaction. 

Or… “ROXY, I MADE CHICKEN FOR DINNER!” (Perhaps you don’t make chicken very often). 

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BAM!

She looks shocked. Cool. 

I’m not completely taking the mick here, as I do genuinely think it’s great that sex toys are getting so advanced, but I just have one question: 

Why do the dolls always look shocked? 

Surely if we’re getting so advanced with this stuff that we can figure out how to make Roxxy and other sexbots open and shut their mouths? Does one really want to have a conversation with someone who can’t thoughtfully pause, close their lips and then speak? I get that an open mouth is sexier than a closed one, however if we’re going to add conversation into the equation then let’s give her the ability to look like she’s speaking. 

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I often think about what the future holds for us technologically, and to be honest I’m not entirely sure how comfortable I feel about the future of Sex Robots. There’s something about it all that makes my skin crawl. In fact, I think the only ‘Sex Robot’ that doesn’t make my skin crawl is The Sherminator. Probably because he’s actually human. 

It does worry me that we’re moving towards a world where actual human contact could be optional. Or is actual human contact not available to the entire human population, and therefore Sex Bots are doing us a favour by giving some of the world human touch?

I’m undecided. What do you think?

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The happiest alarm clock in the world!

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I bet you 5 years ago you would have never imagined having an alarm clock that was also a vibrator? 

Ok, maybe you’ve never imagined that at all… 

Well, it’s pretty lucky that the crazy people at Little Rooster imagined the idea for us so that we can wake up ‘happy’ every single morning!  

Another ‘snorgasm’? Yes please! 

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The Little Rooster is the only alarm clock that doesn’t live on your bedside table, but in your pants, and promises to wake you up every morning with anything from 1 to 30 levels of intensity. 

But how does it work? 

Just like the lady to my right is showing us. You just slip it in! Not right in, it just nestles between your thighs. 

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For a fascinating and slightly awkward, instructional video featuring a Kit Kat, click this link

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I’m all for orgasms, as you all well know… however, I’m in a quandary about 2 things: 

1. The heart attack one might receive in the morning if the ‘intensity level’ was accidentally set to 30!

2. How my partner would feel if I chose my alarm clock for sexy time over her? 

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What the Little Rooster has in its favour is productivity. Hands down, who wouldn’t waste an extra 5 minutes in bed if you received a no questions asked, no strings attached orgasm! Sign the world up Little Rooster!

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I’m still undecided about how sexy slipping a small spatula in between your legs at night is. I imagine it’d come right between your last sip of water and the goodnight kiss to your partner (who’s going come off second best to a vibrating alarm clock in the morning).

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Hello New Year

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Hello New Year’s Eve! We meet again. 

2013. Sweet baby Jesus, what a ride! 

The Italian and I have rocked 2 years together, I got my ears pierced (Yes I did, a 6 year old went right before me and my sweaty hands).

So many highs, some lows. Some times where I wanted to throw my computer at the ground, a few times at people. 

I’ve fist pumped the air more times than I can count, and even sung Frank Sinatra with an invisible microphone to a colleague that wasn’t expecting it. 

What have I learnt? A shite load. Too much to put into words and not bore you.

I did ponder something though in the shower, the place where I do all of my important thinking.

Here it is: 

'If I done everything I said I'd do this year, Wowsers! What could have been…'

You know, all of those things that in one moment you’re really committed to doing, and then the next minute it gets thrown out the window because life comes up.

So often we put ourselves on the back-burner, because work comes up, obligations come up, naps come up. 

This year I’m going to suggest one thing: Let’s not put ourselves on the back-burner.

In 2014, let’s make a conscious effort to do the things that we really want to do that will in turn serve us better. 

SAY NO TO THE BACK-BURNER THIS YEAR. Fuck the back-burner!

In the spirit of New Year’s, I’m going to leave you with a song:

DUI by Har Mar Superstar. 

For no particular reason, other than it’s in my head this morning. Enjoy!

Click here to experience the sexual magic that is HAR MAR SUPERSTAR and have a very freaking Happy New Year!

Forget Tinder, it’s all about Powerpoint!

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Are you a Powerpoint enthusiast? 

Are you single? 

This could be your lucky day. Close down Tinder, Grinder, Blender and all the other dating apps ending with ‘r’, because there’s a new ‘r’ in town, and it’s called… Prrrresentation Dating. 

Here’s the lowdown:

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There was an experiment in dating…

Here’s some words from the Prez, not Obama, the Prez of Presentation Dating:

"You present yourself to single people and see how it goes.  You can do a powerpoint, music performance, stand up, what ever. 

I’ll provide some drinks and there is no charge and your are welcome to bring what ever.

I’m not only the president, i’m a client.

Meet and greet many amazing, sexy and smart singles (i left that from the previous group)

Try it, you’ll LOVE it!”

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Question is, if you are lucky enough to be in New York, have you cut your teeth in Powerpoint? 

I have. Sometimes for weeks at a time. I’m ok at it, but my real strength is in Keynote. If I was single and hit a Keynote party, jesus! There’d be no shutting my preso down! 

I’d be using full bleed images, sexual fonts, my formatting would be perfect, and let’s just say with regards to copy… less is more, if you’re catching my drift. 

I wouldn’t be one of these people with the crazy special effects. You would know my talents by how well put together my slides were. No flashy effects needed, I would seamlessly move from slide to slide. Hang on, I think I’ve gone into my own version of a slightly erotic presentation skills novel… 

Let’s get back to business shall we? Powerpoint. 

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If you’re in New York and you’re single, I’d be getting on down to Presentation Dating with a killer powerpoint about yourself, a bit of interpretative dance and a laser pointer.

Hot tip: The laser pointer is to point out your favourite audience member. 

This presentation is now over. 

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Enjoy this article? I’ll fist bump the air if you like Reasons to date Courtney Beck on Facebook. Cheers! 

Is having a crush on a Disney character normal?

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Not really, but let’s talk about it anyway! 

I should of known I was gay when I had a crush on Jessica Rabbit as a kid. I don’t think I was even old enough to know what a crush was, but I was more than fascinated with that buxom redhead. 

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The question I’m asking today is:

Is it actually possible for human beings to have crushes on cartoons? 

Well, judging by the Sexy Disney Characters Pinterest board I just looked at, this is more than a Disney fan phenomena. This is a topic that everyday adults muse over.  So, I did a bit of research and posed this question to a number of people:

"Which Disney character would you most like to sleep with?"

2 things: 

1. It took all of 5 seconds to receive a serious and thoughtful answer. 

2. Not once was I called a creep for asking. 

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As voted by the lucky people involved my survey, here are the Top 3 Disney characters (women & men) most likely to cause fireworks within the adult population!

Coming in at Number 1 for the ladies, Ariel from the Little Mermaid!

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2. Snow White

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3. Pocahontas

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And now for the men of Disney! 

Kicking off at number 1, we have the man made most famous for his ability to ride magic carpets! 

1. Aladdin

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 2. Captain Hook - Arrgh! The bad boy who not only sets hearts racing, but also sets off airport alarms! 

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3. Simba: ROAARRRRRRR!!!  

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I’m not even joking about this one, here’s your Google evidence! 

Honourable mentions from my dodgy Disney survey go to…

Goofy! 

This one was suggested very honestly by someone who said he is ‘tall and funny’. Interesting…

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Last but not least, the Genie from Aladdin! 

The Genie from Aladdin was hands down the strangest answer to my ‘Which Disney character would you most like to sleep with?' question, and it came from one of the more normal women in the office.

When I mused ‘But, he doesn’t have any genitalia?’, she looked at me, shook her head like I hadn’t even thought about this at all and said:

"He would magic it there!"

Of course. I guess I’d just never contemplated magical appearing and disappearing genitalia before. 

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And so concludes our dalliance with Disney. 

Is it normal to have a crush on a cartoon? Probably not. But what’s normal, right?! 

Come on, entertain me. If you had to take a Disney character to a desert island, who would it be? 

If that’s the creepiest question you’ve been asked today, I’ll give myself a pat on the back. If that’s the creepiest question you’ve ever been asked, then you need to get out more. 

Until next time friends…

Follow Reasons to date Courtney Beck on Facebook to stay up to date!

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Reasons to date Courtney Beck by Courtney Beck is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.
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